a venting, reflecting, and whever it leads post.

I t one of those days full of conflicting feelings. I have not posted in a long time, I have been dealing with some depression and just haven't had the energy to do it. first I'll vent, maybe I'll feel better lol.
I am a low man on the totem pole at work, there is only 2 employees in my department that has less time in than me. I have had to work evenings for a little over a year now and it isn't exactly fun. I don't get to spend as much time with my kids as I would like, during the week I see them for one hour every morning and then I am busy getting Roo ready for school and rushing him and his sisters out the door. I leave before they get home from school and by the time I get home Roo is usually in bed and the girls go to bed an hr later (sometimes they go to bed before I get home). I am down to 3 sets of scrubs, all of them at least 7 years old and look it but I just don't have the budget to buy more. I put in a request at work for either Christmas eve OR Christmas day off. I did not want to have to fix Christmas dinner then have to rush off to work right after. My request was granted, I am going to have Christmas Eve of but...in order to have it I have to work the next 7 days in a row. I don't mind working, honestly I would go nuts if I was a SAHM, even if we could afford it but 7 days?!! Oh well, I will just suck it up and do what I have to do, and dream of all the fun I am going to have spending an entire day with the heathens. I am still waiting to hear from my son Michael, it is hard sometimes having him away at college . I am so proud of the young man he has become though.

Whenever I get in one of these moods, I try to reflect on what I should be grateful for and usually pull myself out of it. So today I am grateful for: 4 little guys who have a warm house, and loving people to care for them. I am grateful that I have a roof over my head, even if it isn't the roof I always dreamed of having. It's only 2 more months till we can get our taxes back and I can get my car fixed. My family and friend that are there for me when I need them for support and encouragement.

Michael, is finishing up his 3rd semester at Buffalo State College. Thank God for grants and loans so that he could have the opportunity to provide himself with a secure future. He wants to go to AU for graduate school, I am dreading the day he goes that far away from me but know that he will make a great psychiatrist and support whatever helps him achieve his goal.
Adrienne (oldest DD)is doing well, she has had a few episodes that scared us but turned out to be nothing major. Next month we have to drive out to Buffalo on the 10th to get her regular MRI and then again on the 21st for her appointment at brain tumor clinic. Hopefully they will not find any growth again and she can continue to avoid radiation. (please pray if you do, if not send good JuJu or whatever).
Cassandra continues to do well in school, She is in 10th grade 12.1.1 classes with integration in science. She is learning how to do basic Algebra and so proud of the 100s she brings home. I am very proud of her too of course, despite her LD she strives to do her best and it shows. at the begining of the school year she received and Academic Letter for getting a 90% average in all her classes last year. She also attended a special recognition breakfast.
Andrew (Roo) is still my wild crazy little devil/angel boy. He has been integrated into regular 4th grade classes for history and science with a consultant teacher. He has Finlay learned to read some basic words, I am so proud of him! He is still getting OT for his SPD and ASD. He is on new meds for his ADHD (they are working great). I am still choosing not to medicate for his mild anxiety, I hate the idea of shoving more pills down his throat unless absolutely necessary and I can usually deal with his anxiety issues fairly quickly.
I leave you with some of my favorite quotes:

"Life is not about weathering the storm, it is about learning to dance in the rain."
" You can live without love, but without love you cannot have life." -William Emmet Gardner (my grandfather, a very wise man)
"Mom I'm a man now, I can take the heat" -Andrew 11 yrs old(after begging some Hot tamale candy from me and being warned that the were hot) This child never fails to make me laugh.