Does you husband yell and swear at you? Call you names? Hit you?

I found this post on another website and found it important enough to share here. I, like the OP was a victim of abuse at one time in my life and know that everything the OP says is the truth:

If you're reading this then either my title caught your attention or maybe it's because you're one of the many women here on this website (and so many others) who faces varying degrees of abuse every day here in the US and abroad.
If you're the former, you're welcome to read and comment...this is a topic near to my heart and is VERY important. The reason I'm writing to you today is because I'm the daughter of an abused mother and ... I'm also a victim of abuse so, I have some opinions on this topic and some perspective I'd like to share with you.
I want you to ask yourself this today and every day here after ... not for yourself, but for your children who you love so much. If you read NOTHING else in my letter please dedicate these questions to memory:
1. Is my husband, with all his faults, the sort of man I want my son to be like when he grows up? Would I really be okay with him growing into a man who treats others the way my husband treats me (and god forbid, if he's abusing the children too, how he treats them.)
2. Am I the sort of woman I want my daughter to grow into? If I make excuses for my abuser's actions, would I really be okay seeing my daughter treated as I am treated by my husband every day, by some other woman's son?
Too often women will endure emotional, mental, and physical abuse for a laundry list of reasons and never leave their abusers because they are confident that their husband "would never hurt the children."
Maybe you're one of those moms; so afraid of being alone or of all the difficulties you'd face on your own, that you would rather endure your abuser's actions ... "so long as he never hurts the kids."
If this sounds like you... if it could be you in time if things get worse... PLEASE heed my advice: Your son IS hurt by this man if even if he never says a bad word to your boy or lays a finger on him... he's hurt because he's smart enough to see what's going on even if you're hiding it somehow. He's learning what a man is from the most important man in his & your life. Your son, no matter how kind and smart he is, will remember YOUR most important lesson to him... how a woman should be with him... how she should accept being treated. Are you his role-model's equal? Are you his role-model best friend? If you're not these things, consider for a moment how your son views the dynamics between you and the man in your life. Your son will remember what to expect of women by watching you... and how to treat them by watching him.
As for your daughters, the man in their lives is very important... take it from a girl who grew up in an abusive home and went on her own way saying "I'll never be in relationships like that" and then did just that... all through college and who asked myself "how did I end up with a guy like this?" Because it sure as heck wasn't what I was looking to be with.
If you're sitting there at your computer thinking "you can't help who you love" (one of my own mother's favorite things to say in justification of why we couldn't leave) then imagine how much it will rip your heart out to hear your beautiful little girl say those same words to you one day... and worse that she will believe them. Your daughter learns what is acceptable for a man to be like from him... and she learns what is alright to endure from a man, from you.
Your children DO learn from your actions just as much as by your words and while not every child grows to be a clone of their parent's good actions and bad ones... many do. Please, stop the cycle of abusers and the abused. Take a long hard look at your life TODAY (don't wait) and ask yourself the questions above... then make a choice about what sort of life example you want to set for your children not as a loving wife, or a scared woman, but as a Mother who would give ANYTHING for your children. You may not fear that the man in your life will kill you or your children but the choice you make today may shape who they are in years to come.
This is your chance. Can you... would you REALLY give ANYTHING for your children as we mothers always say we can/would do if need be? If you're living in an abusive relationship, it might feel like you are being asked in this letter to do just that... to give your world up. I am sorry for your pain, truly I am, but today is the day you prove those words about your love for your children to be true *AND* I promise that once you've left, in time (may not today or tomorrow but soon) you'll come to see you didn't give up anything at all... you welcomed the chance for new and better happiness and have given a gift to your children better than ANYTHING money can ever buy this holiday season.
Have courage, YOU CAN DO THIS ... if you need a friend to encourage you then please, drop me any number of women here a line. So many of us would be happy to send some positive vibes/prayers/friendly words your way and be an ear to those in need. YOU'RE NOT ALONE. Just remember, you're not leaving a man who might love you the way you want one day... you're leaving for the children you know will never stop.
May God Bless & Keep All of You,
-Dee
Please... protect your babies. End the cycle of abuse.
Thanks for reading... here's some more information that might help
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Family Violence Prevention Fund
Locate a woman's shelter on-line