I found this post on another website and found it important enough to share here. I, like the OP was a victim of abuse at one time in my life and know that everything the OP says is the truth:
If you're reading this then either my title caught your attention or maybe it's because you're one of the many women here on this website (and so many others) who faces varying degrees of abuse every day here in the US and abroad.
If you're the former, you're welcome to read and comment...this is a topic near to my heart and is VERY important. The reason I'm writing to you today is because I'm the daughter of an abused mother and ... I'm also a victim of abuse so, I have some opinions on this topic and some perspective I'd like to share with you.
I want you to ask yourself this today and every day here after ... not for yourself, but for your children who you love so much. If you read NOTHING else in my letter please dedicate these questions to memory:
1. Is my husband, with all his faults, the sort of man I want my son to be like when he grows up? Would I really be okay with him growing into a man who treats others the way my husband treats me (and god forbid, if he's abusing the children too, how he treats them.)
2. Am I the sort of woman I want my daughter to grow into? If I make excuses for my abuser's actions, would I really be okay seeing my daughter treated as I am treated by my husband every day, by some other woman's son?
Too often women will endure emotional, mental, and physical abuse for a laundry list of reasons and never leave their abusers because they are confident that their husband "would never hurt the children."
Maybe you're one of those moms; so afraid of being alone or of all the difficulties you'd face on your own, that you would rather endure your abuser's actions ... "so long as he never hurts the kids."
If this sounds like you... if it could be you in time if things get worse... PLEASE heed my advice: Your son IS hurt by this man if even if he never says a bad word to your boy or lays a finger on him... he's hurt because he's smart enough to see what's going on even if you're hiding it somehow. He's learning what a man is from the most important man in his & your life. Your son, no matter how kind and smart he is, will remember YOUR most important lesson to him... how a woman should be with him... how she should accept being treated. Are you his role-model's equal? Are you his role-model best friend? If you're not these things, consider for a moment how your son views the dynamics between you and the man in your life. Your son will remember what to expect of women by watching you... and how to treat them by watching him.
As for your daughters, the man in their lives is very important... take it from a girl who grew up in an abusive home and went on her own way saying "I'll never be in relationships like that" and then did just that... all through college and who asked myself "how did I end up with a guy like this?" Because it sure as heck wasn't what I was looking to be with.
If you're sitting there at your computer thinking "you can't help who you love" (one of my own mother's favorite things to say in justification of why we couldn't leave) then imagine how much it will rip your heart out to hear your beautiful little girl say those same words to you one day... and worse that she will believe them. Your daughter learns what is acceptable for a man to be like from him... and she learns what is alright to endure from a man, from you.
Your children DO learn from your actions just as much as by your words and while not every child grows to be a clone of their parent's good actions and bad ones... many do. Please, stop the cycle of abusers and the abused. Take a long hard look at your life TODAY (don't wait) and ask yourself the questions above... then make a choice about what sort of life example you want to set for your children not as a loving wife, or a scared woman, but as a Mother who would give ANYTHING for your children. You may not fear that the man in your life will kill you or your children but the choice you make today may shape who they are in years to come.
This is your chance. Can you... would you REALLY give ANYTHING for your children as we mothers always say we can/would do if need be? If you're living in an abusive relationship, it might feel like you are being asked in this letter to do just that... to give your world up. I am sorry for your pain, truly I am, but today is the day you prove those words about your love for your children to be true *AND* I promise that once you've left, in time (may not today or tomorrow but soon) you'll come to see you didn't give up anything at all... you welcomed the chance for new and better happiness and have given a gift to your children better than ANYTHING money can ever buy this holiday season.
Have courage, YOU CAN DO THIS ... if you need a friend to encourage you then please, drop me any number of women here a line. So many of us would be happy to send some positive vibes/prayers/friendly words your way and be an ear to those in need. YOU'RE NOT ALONE. Just remember, you're not leaving a man who might love you the way you want one day... you're leaving for the children you know will never stop.
May God Bless & Keep All of You,
-Dee
Please... protect your babies. End the cycle of abuse.
Thanks for reading... here's some more information that might help
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Family Violence Prevention Fund
Locate a woman's shelter on-line
Dec 25, 2008
A different Christmas poem
This poem was not written by me so i will not be posting it on my poetry blog, but it does send a powerfull message out for us parents with a child on the spectrum.
Twas the Night Before ChristmasAnd all through the house The creatures were stirring Yes, even the mouse! We tried melatonin And gave a hot bath But the holiday jitters They always distract! The children were finallyAll nestled in bed When nightmares of terror Ran through my OWN head Did I get the right gift The right color And style Would there be a tantrum Or even, maybe, a smile? Our relatives come But they don’t understand The pleasure he gets Just from flapping his hands.
"He needs discipline," they say "Just a well-needed smack, You must learn to parent.." And on goes the attack We smile and nod Because we know deep inside The argument is moot Let them all take a side We know what it’s likeTo live with the spectrum The struggles and triumphs Achievements, regressions….
But what they don’t know And what they don’t see Is the joy that we feel Over simplicity He said "hello" He ate something green! He told his first lie! He did not cause a scene! He peed on the potty Who cares if he’s ten, He stopped saying the same thing Again and again! Others don’t realize Just how we can cope How we bravely hang on At the end of our rope But what they don’t see Is the joy we can’t hide When our children with autism Make the tiniest stride We may look at others Without the problems we face With jealousy, hatred Or even distaste, But what they don’t know Nor sometimes do we Is that children with autism Bring simplicity.
We don’t get excited Over expensive things We jump for joy With the progress work brings Children with autism Try hard every day That they make us proud More than words can say.
They work even harder Than you or I To achieve something small To reach a star in the sky So to those who don’t get it Or can’t get a clue Take a walk in my shoes And I’ll assure you… That even 10 minutes Into the walk You’ll look at me With respect, even shock.
You will realize What it is I go through And the next time you judge I can assure you That you won’t say a thing You’ll be quiet and learn, Like the years that I did
Twas the Night Before ChristmasAnd all through the house The creatures were stirring Yes, even the mouse! We tried melatonin And gave a hot bath But the holiday jitters They always distract! The children were finallyAll nestled in bed When nightmares of terror Ran through my OWN head Did I get the right gift The right color And style Would there be a tantrum Or even, maybe, a smile? Our relatives come But they don’t understand The pleasure he gets Just from flapping his hands.
"He needs discipline," they say "Just a well-needed smack, You must learn to parent.." And on goes the attack We smile and nod Because we know deep inside The argument is moot Let them all take a side We know what it’s likeTo live with the spectrum The struggles and triumphs Achievements, regressions….
But what they don’t know And what they don’t see Is the joy that we feel Over simplicity He said "hello" He ate something green! He told his first lie! He did not cause a scene! He peed on the potty Who cares if he’s ten, He stopped saying the same thing Again and again! Others don’t realize Just how we can cope How we bravely hang on At the end of our rope But what they don’t see Is the joy we can’t hide When our children with autism Make the tiniest stride We may look at others Without the problems we face With jealousy, hatred Or even distaste, But what they don’t know Nor sometimes do we Is that children with autism Bring simplicity.
We don’t get excited Over expensive things We jump for joy With the progress work brings Children with autism Try hard every day That they make us proud More than words can say.
They work even harder Than you or I To achieve something small To reach a star in the sky So to those who don’t get it Or can’t get a clue Take a walk in my shoes And I’ll assure you… That even 10 minutes Into the walk You’ll look at me With respect, even shock.
You will realize What it is I go through And the next time you judge I can assure you That you won’t say a thing You’ll be quiet and learn, Like the years that I did
Dec 21, 2008
Acknowleding those in the service industry
During this holiday season, many of you acknowledge those in the service industry by giving them a small gift or card and I am SURE that acknowledgment is greatly appreciated. From the mail carrier who trudges through all sorts of weather, the doorman that works at your building, the mechanic that fixes your car, the bag boy who carries your groceries (yes, they DO still exist). The majority of them work hard to please you, and like to know that their efforts to do so have not gone unnoticed.
But what of those who go unnoticed? I work in one of "those" service industries. What do I do? I am a housekeeper in a nursing home. Every year at this time the resident wings are flooded with fruit baskets, cookies, flowers, poinsettias, and many other little treats from doctors, pharmacies, and family members to thank the nurses and aides that care for the residents that live there. That's good, they deserve it. They work hard and strive to do their best to make each resident safe, comfortable, and well cared for. They lend an ear to the lonely, comfort the sad, and ease the pain of the hurting.
That leads me to the four positions that are taken for granted where I work, those being kitchen, maintenance, laundry, and of course housekeeping.
Every day the kitchen staff provides 3 well balanced meals for somebody's loved on to eat. They make snacks for the residents and cater all the facility parties. They make each resident a special meal on their birthday.
The maintenance staff make sure that there is heat and hot water, the walkways and parking lot are free of hazards, the lawn is mowed, and fix things that break in a timely manor.
Laundry washes your loved one's clothing, sheets, and blankets. The make sure there are clean towels and wash clothes for showers, baths, and routine care.
Now for my position...housekeeping. Wanna know what we do every day? I'll tell you exactly what we do.
Day shift - (in an 8 hr period)
Clean 22 residents bedrooms and bathrooms EVERY day.
Clean the shower room which consists of 2 walk in tubs, a shower, a toilet and 2 sinks.
Clean the nurse's station and bathroom - each wing has one
Clean the mini kitchen on the wing
Clean the wing dining room both after breakfast and lunch.
Check all toilet paper, soap, purell, and paper towel dispensers and refill them as needed
Sweep and mop the clean soil, resident storage, lift, and nurse's storage rooms as needed.
Vacuum entire wing at least three times a week
Clean up any spills or extra messes when paged.
But what of those who go unnoticed? I work in one of "those" service industries. What do I do? I am a housekeeper in a nursing home. Every year at this time the resident wings are flooded with fruit baskets, cookies, flowers, poinsettias, and many other little treats from doctors, pharmacies, and family members to thank the nurses and aides that care for the residents that live there. That's good, they deserve it. They work hard and strive to do their best to make each resident safe, comfortable, and well cared for. They lend an ear to the lonely, comfort the sad, and ease the pain of the hurting.
That leads me to the four positions that are taken for granted where I work, those being kitchen, maintenance, laundry, and of course housekeeping.
Every day the kitchen staff provides 3 well balanced meals for somebody's loved on to eat. They make snacks for the residents and cater all the facility parties. They make each resident a special meal on their birthday.
The maintenance staff make sure that there is heat and hot water, the walkways and parking lot are free of hazards, the lawn is mowed, and fix things that break in a timely manor.
Laundry washes your loved one's clothing, sheets, and blankets. The make sure there are clean towels and wash clothes for showers, baths, and routine care.
Now for my position...housekeeping. Wanna know what we do every day? I'll tell you exactly what we do.
Day shift - (in an 8 hr period)
Clean 22 residents bedrooms and bathrooms EVERY day.
Clean the shower room which consists of 2 walk in tubs, a shower, a toilet and 2 sinks.
Clean the nurse's station and bathroom - each wing has one
Clean the mini kitchen on the wing
Clean the wing dining room both after breakfast and lunch.
Check all toilet paper, soap, purell, and paper towel dispensers and refill them as needed
Sweep and mop the clean soil, resident storage, lift, and nurse's storage rooms as needed.
Vacuum entire wing at least three times a week
Clean up any spills or extra messes when paged.
Evening shift - (a 6 hr shift)
Empty garbage and vacuum 21 offices
Clean 7 bathrooms
Clean the dentist/podiatrist treatment room, exam room, activities, PT and OT
Vacuum the lobby, halls, and rugs by the entrances.
Sweep and mop entrance and back hall that leads to the service area
Clean the dining rooms on each wing after dinner, The main resident dining area, the staff lounge, and the atrium
Dust vents, ceiling fans, door casings, and light fixtures as needed
Collect the garbage from all wings, offices, dining rooms and lobby into one large cart and take them to the garbage bin. This includes 3 outside garbage cans, even when it IS only 10 degrees fahrenheit out.
Answer all calls to clean spills, "acidents", and incedences of residents vomiting on floors/carpeting
Check and fill all soap, toilet paper, purell, and paper towel dispensers.
While doing all this, we also find time to quickly lend an ear and dispense a hug when needed. We offer warm greetings and smile to all we come across.
What do we receive in return? NOTHING! No goodies or flowers, no cards or even a thank you. Did you honestly think this stuff just magically did itself? If it were not for us four departments, you loved ones would not be getting the wonderful care they are receiving. They would not be getting meals and snacks, their wheel chairs oiled, laundry washed and have a clean bed to sleep in.
Please, if you have a loved one living in a residential care facility, take time to acknowledge the hard work of those behind the scenes. We don't necessarily want all the goodies, though they would be nice, a simple thank you, a card, or I appreciate how hard you work could just make our day!
Dec 20, 2008
Dear Santa
I actually got my digital Camera to work for a bit tonight. here are videos my kids made for "Santa" on another web site. We had a lot of fun doing this. I wish Michael were home to do this too, it would have been interesting what my college boy had to say.
You can't really hear Andrew to well, he speaks really low when he is nervous. He is asking for a Ben 10 video game, a paint ball gun (no way!), a remote controll car, and "some other stuff" LOL
At least he will be getting"some other stuff" gotta love matchbox cars, they are so cheap!
You can't really hear Andrew to well, he speaks really low when he is nervous. He is asking for a Ben 10 video game, a paint ball gun (no way!), a remote controll car, and "some other stuff" LOL
At least he will be getting"some other stuff" gotta love matchbox cars, they are so cheap!
Casey is going to be a bit disappointed I think, but she will be getting the warm Jammies she asked for:
By golly! I was actually able to get the jammies AND nail polish! I wish I could have gotten the other stuff but you know how it is: This girl cracks me up, I wonder if it is the brain tumor that makes her so err..........unique or is she just naturally this way?
This child loves shoes and handbags.......I think I know someone else addicted to handbags...I wonder who it could be? LOLDec 18, 2008
movin on up
I have started a new blog spot for my poetry only. I have allready placed all previously written poems there. you can find it at:
http://ladysaphiraspoetry.blogspot.com/
http://ladysaphiraspoetry.blogspot.com/
Youve come a long way baby...or have you?
I wrote the following analogy a little less than a year ago, I like to think I have come a long way from where I was then, but there are still a lot that hits home still. I see some posative changes but there are changes yet to be made.
RED TILE FLOOR (Jan. 2008)
(Those of you who live in snowy states, or have lived in one, will probably understand better where I am coming from on this.)
My life is like a red tile floor in the lobby of a public building, in the middle of winter. I sweep and mop and scrub the floor. I place the wet floor signs precisely, where they can be seen by all who approach, no mater what direction they come from. I remove the traces of mud, salt and sand. The floor gleams and shines in it's wet, clean glory. The fresh smell makes me smile, I have done a good job.
Then it happens. In comes Oblivious and with him, his little dog, ignorance. Oblivious pays no attention to his surroundings, does not see the signs of warning although he does wipe his shoes on the mat carefully placed at the entrance before invading my domain. Ignorance trots in beside him, in his little doggy glee, leaving tiny little paws prints that will be easily erased if given just 2 minutes of time. If only Oblivious had thought to carry Ignorance in, no marks would yet be there. They do not do much damage, and will leave no trace of having been there if I am just given 2 minutes. Alas, it is not meant to be.......
Here comes apologetic from the other direction, she must trod on my floor to get where she needs to be, a problem that I do not have if it is quick and she leave no evidence of having been there. But, she is carrying with her, an overfull cup of coffee and in her rush to carry on with the aspects of life that are important to her, coffee slips over the rim of her cup, further marring the pristine shine I strive so hard to create. she offers numerous "I'm sorrys", as she hurries on her way, but does not offer to help remove the splatters she has left behind.
Next comes Indifference, she sees the signs but does not care about their warning. She is much more important then a fresh clean floor. She does not care that I have strive to attain a new start, that I have erased all that had marred my floor and had turned it to a dull grey nothingness the color of slate. Her only target is to reach the exit, and release herself from the prison that she has created for herself. As she leaves she drops crumbs of her nourishment but does not care. Her goal is achieved and she leaves with a blast of cold air in her wake, swirling leaves and and dirt settle on the floor as the door closes behind her.
I sigh loudly and think to my self "OK this is not good, my floor is no longer clean, but I can still fix this. It will take a bit of work but I can do it" But no, it is apparently not meant to be.....
"Well hello! Disdain Superior Snootiness" I say with a smile as she enters. She turns up her nose at me and looks the other way as she strides past. She stomps her feet purposely the entire way across my once pristine floor. Snow, sand, salt and dirt are left scattered in pile along her trail, spraying in all directions. She drops the candy wrappings from her sweet life and she mutters just loud enough to make sure I can hear about how disgusting my floor is and how I will never have it shine no mater how hard I try. She criticizes my efforts, and refuses to acknowledge my humanness. She is perfection, she is the queen, she has not faults, because SHE believes it true. No one will ever be as wonderful as she, no one will ever come close to it. Especially not me.
My once immaculate floor is now littered with the leavings of passersby, It has returned to the dull grey slab that it began as. I no longer have the energy to start again, so I sink to the floor and cry.
RED TILE FLOOR (Jan. 2008)
(Those of you who live in snowy states, or have lived in one, will probably understand better where I am coming from on this.)
My life is like a red tile floor in the lobby of a public building, in the middle of winter. I sweep and mop and scrub the floor. I place the wet floor signs precisely, where they can be seen by all who approach, no mater what direction they come from. I remove the traces of mud, salt and sand. The floor gleams and shines in it's wet, clean glory. The fresh smell makes me smile, I have done a good job.
Then it happens. In comes Oblivious and with him, his little dog, ignorance. Oblivious pays no attention to his surroundings, does not see the signs of warning although he does wipe his shoes on the mat carefully placed at the entrance before invading my domain. Ignorance trots in beside him, in his little doggy glee, leaving tiny little paws prints that will be easily erased if given just 2 minutes of time. If only Oblivious had thought to carry Ignorance in, no marks would yet be there. They do not do much damage, and will leave no trace of having been there if I am just given 2 minutes. Alas, it is not meant to be.......
Here comes apologetic from the other direction, she must trod on my floor to get where she needs to be, a problem that I do not have if it is quick and she leave no evidence of having been there. But, she is carrying with her, an overfull cup of coffee and in her rush to carry on with the aspects of life that are important to her, coffee slips over the rim of her cup, further marring the pristine shine I strive so hard to create. she offers numerous "I'm sorrys", as she hurries on her way, but does not offer to help remove the splatters she has left behind.
Next comes Indifference, she sees the signs but does not care about their warning. She is much more important then a fresh clean floor. She does not care that I have strive to attain a new start, that I have erased all that had marred my floor and had turned it to a dull grey nothingness the color of slate. Her only target is to reach the exit, and release herself from the prison that she has created for herself. As she leaves she drops crumbs of her nourishment but does not care. Her goal is achieved and she leaves with a blast of cold air in her wake, swirling leaves and and dirt settle on the floor as the door closes behind her.
I sigh loudly and think to my self "OK this is not good, my floor is no longer clean, but I can still fix this. It will take a bit of work but I can do it" But no, it is apparently not meant to be.....
"Well hello! Disdain Superior Snootiness" I say with a smile as she enters. She turns up her nose at me and looks the other way as she strides past. She stomps her feet purposely the entire way across my once pristine floor. Snow, sand, salt and dirt are left scattered in pile along her trail, spraying in all directions. She drops the candy wrappings from her sweet life and she mutters just loud enough to make sure I can hear about how disgusting my floor is and how I will never have it shine no mater how hard I try. She criticizes my efforts, and refuses to acknowledge my humanness. She is perfection, she is the queen, she has not faults, because SHE believes it true. No one will ever be as wonderful as she, no one will ever come close to it. Especially not me.
My once immaculate floor is now littered with the leavings of passersby, It has returned to the dull grey slab that it began as. I no longer have the energy to start again, so I sink to the floor and cry.
Dec 17, 2008
a venting, reflecting, and whever it leads post.
I t one of those days full of conflicting feelings. I have not posted in a long time, I have been dealing with some depression and just haven't had the energy to do it. first I'll vent, maybe I'll feel better lol.
I am a low man on the totem pole at work, there is only 2 employees in my department that has less time in than me. I have had to work evenings for a little over a year now and it isn't exactly fun. I don't get to spend as much time with my kids as I would like, during the week I see them for one hour every morning and then I am busy getting Roo ready for school and rushing him and his sisters out the door. I leave before they get home from school and by the time I get home Roo is usually in bed and the girls go to bed an hr later (sometimes they go to bed before I get home). I am down to 3 sets of scrubs, all of them at least 7 years old and look it but I just don't have the budget to buy more. I put in a request at work for either Christmas eve OR Christmas day off. I did not want to have to fix Christmas dinner then have to rush off to work right after. My request was granted, I am going to have Christmas Eve of but...in order to have it I have to work the next 7 days in a row. I don't mind working, honestly I would go nuts if I was a SAHM, even if we could afford it but 7 days?!! Oh well, I will just suck it up and do what I have to do, and dream of all the fun I am going to have spending an entire day with the heathens. I am still waiting to hear from my son Michael, it is hard sometimes having him away at college . I am so proud of the young man he has become though.
Whenever I get in one of these moods, I try to reflect on what I should be grateful for and usually pull myself out of it. So today I am grateful for: 4 little guys who have a warm house, and loving people to care for them. I am grateful that I have a roof over my head, even if it isn't the roof I always dreamed of having. It's only 2 more months till we can get our taxes back and I can get my car fixed. My family and friend that are there for me when I need them for support and encouragement.
Michael, is finishing up his 3rd semester at Buffalo State College. Thank God for grants and loans so that he could have the opportunity to provide himself with a secure future. He wants to go to AU for graduate school, I am dreading the day he goes that far away from me but know that he will make a great psychiatrist and support whatever helps him achieve his goal.
Adrienne (oldest DD)is doing well, she has had a few episodes that scared us but turned out to be nothing major. Next month we have to drive out to Buffalo on the 10th to get her regular MRI and then again on the 21st for her appointment at brain tumor clinic. Hopefully they will not find any growth again and she can continue to avoid radiation. (please pray if you do, if not send good JuJu or whatever).
Cassandra continues to do well in school, She is in 10th grade 12.1.1 classes with integration in science. She is learning how to do basic Algebra and so proud of the 100s she brings home. I am very proud of her too of course, despite her LD she strives to do her best and it shows. at the begining of the school year she received and Academic Letter for getting a 90% average in all her classes last year. She also attended a special recognition breakfast.
Andrew (Roo) is still my wild crazy little devil/angel boy. He has been integrated into regular 4th grade classes for history and science with a consultant teacher. He has Finlay learned to read some basic words, I am so proud of him! He is still getting OT for his SPD and ASD. He is on new meds for his ADHD (they are working great). I am still choosing not to medicate for his mild anxiety, I hate the idea of shoving more pills down his throat unless absolutely necessary and I can usually deal with his anxiety issues fairly quickly.
I leave you with some of my favorite quotes:
"Life is not about weathering the storm, it is about learning to dance in the rain."
" You can live without love, but without love you cannot have life." -William Emmet Gardner (my grandfather, a very wise man)
"Mom I'm a man now, I can take the heat" -Andrew 11 yrs old(after begging some Hot tamale candy from me and being warned that the were hot) This child never fails to make me laugh.
I am a low man on the totem pole at work, there is only 2 employees in my department that has less time in than me. I have had to work evenings for a little over a year now and it isn't exactly fun. I don't get to spend as much time with my kids as I would like, during the week I see them for one hour every morning and then I am busy getting Roo ready for school and rushing him and his sisters out the door. I leave before they get home from school and by the time I get home Roo is usually in bed and the girls go to bed an hr later (sometimes they go to bed before I get home). I am down to 3 sets of scrubs, all of them at least 7 years old and look it but I just don't have the budget to buy more. I put in a request at work for either Christmas eve OR Christmas day off. I did not want to have to fix Christmas dinner then have to rush off to work right after. My request was granted, I am going to have Christmas Eve of but...in order to have it I have to work the next 7 days in a row. I don't mind working, honestly I would go nuts if I was a SAHM, even if we could afford it but 7 days?!! Oh well, I will just suck it up and do what I have to do, and dream of all the fun I am going to have spending an entire day with the heathens. I am still waiting to hear from my son Michael, it is hard sometimes having him away at college . I am so proud of the young man he has become though.
Whenever I get in one of these moods, I try to reflect on what I should be grateful for and usually pull myself out of it. So today I am grateful for: 4 little guys who have a warm house, and loving people to care for them. I am grateful that I have a roof over my head, even if it isn't the roof I always dreamed of having. It's only 2 more months till we can get our taxes back and I can get my car fixed. My family and friend that are there for me when I need them for support and encouragement.
Michael, is finishing up his 3rd semester at Buffalo State College. Thank God for grants and loans so that he could have the opportunity to provide himself with a secure future. He wants to go to AU for graduate school, I am dreading the day he goes that far away from me but know that he will make a great psychiatrist and support whatever helps him achieve his goal.
Adrienne (oldest DD)is doing well, she has had a few episodes that scared us but turned out to be nothing major. Next month we have to drive out to Buffalo on the 10th to get her regular MRI and then again on the 21st for her appointment at brain tumor clinic. Hopefully they will not find any growth again and she can continue to avoid radiation. (please pray if you do, if not send good JuJu or whatever).
Cassandra continues to do well in school, She is in 10th grade 12.1.1 classes with integration in science. She is learning how to do basic Algebra and so proud of the 100s she brings home. I am very proud of her too of course, despite her LD she strives to do her best and it shows. at the begining of the school year she received and Academic Letter for getting a 90% average in all her classes last year. She also attended a special recognition breakfast.
Andrew (Roo) is still my wild crazy little devil/angel boy. He has been integrated into regular 4th grade classes for history and science with a consultant teacher. He has Finlay learned to read some basic words, I am so proud of him! He is still getting OT for his SPD and ASD. He is on new meds for his ADHD (they are working great). I am still choosing not to medicate for his mild anxiety, I hate the idea of shoving more pills down his throat unless absolutely necessary and I can usually deal with his anxiety issues fairly quickly.
I leave you with some of my favorite quotes:
"Life is not about weathering the storm, it is about learning to dance in the rain."
" You can live without love, but without love you cannot have life." -William Emmet Gardner (my grandfather, a very wise man)
"Mom I'm a man now, I can take the heat" -Andrew 11 yrs old(after begging some Hot tamale candy from me and being warned that the were hot) This child never fails to make me laugh.
Dec 13, 2008
Now THIS just pisses me off!
As the mother of a male child on the autism spectrum, I am completely infuriated with the audacity of this group. How DARE they imply, that just because my son has a specific disability, he is more likely to rape a woman than any other male? It is completely frigging ridiculous!
They claim not to be a hate group but that is what they are spreading....hate, intolerance, and fear. I cannot begin to explain the feelings that are running through me at the discovery that this group exists...revulsion,anger, incredulity,shock.......
Who in their right mind would even think for a NANOSECOND that spreading this kids of BS was acceptable? It rates right up there with every other hate group out there, Skin heads, gay bashers, Neo Nazis, the KKK...none of them have the right to target a specific group of people and treat them like dirt. Not every gay person is out to infect the world with AIDS or their "gayness" . Not every African-American, Asian, or Hispanic person is out to take over our country, steal our jobs, or what have ya. (I have heard some really stupid things). And guess what? NOT EVERY AUTISTIC MALE IS GOING TO RAPE A WOMAN JUST BECAUSE SHE SAYS NO!
Yes, SOME autistic persons can be violent but not ALL of them are. Some of them can be helped to learn to express their anger and frustration in non violent ways. Most of those that cannot are almost ALWAYS in some sort of group home or under the care of a responsible adult and are under constant supervision. Just when you though you have heard it all......sometimes I think society is going to Hell in a hand basket and there is no hope whatsoever for redemption.
Please, if your on facebook, where I found this group, report them! Report any hate group you find. Show them that we will NOT tolerate this kind of fear mongering!
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=20379907381
intolerance = ingnorance
They claim not to be a hate group but that is what they are spreading....hate, intolerance, and fear. I cannot begin to explain the feelings that are running through me at the discovery that this group exists...revulsion,anger, incredulity,shock.......
Who in their right mind would even think for a NANOSECOND that spreading this kids of BS was acceptable? It rates right up there with every other hate group out there, Skin heads, gay bashers, Neo Nazis, the KKK...none of them have the right to target a specific group of people and treat them like dirt. Not every gay person is out to infect the world with AIDS or their "gayness" . Not every African-American, Asian, or Hispanic person is out to take over our country, steal our jobs, or what have ya. (I have heard some really stupid things). And guess what? NOT EVERY AUTISTIC MALE IS GOING TO RAPE A WOMAN JUST BECAUSE SHE SAYS NO!
Yes, SOME autistic persons can be violent but not ALL of them are. Some of them can be helped to learn to express their anger and frustration in non violent ways. Most of those that cannot are almost ALWAYS in some sort of group home or under the care of a responsible adult and are under constant supervision. Just when you though you have heard it all......sometimes I think society is going to Hell in a hand basket and there is no hope whatsoever for redemption.
Please, if your on facebook, where I found this group, report them! Report any hate group you find. Show them that we will NOT tolerate this kind of fear mongering!
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=20379907381
intolerance = ingnorance
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